Why does life become so hard sometimes?
It feels like you’re always running towards this great something that will bring you happiness and personal satisfaction until the end of time. So every future action of yours feels like it should be motivated towards this great something which will fulfill you. Unfortunately, there is some higher rule which has somehow decided that only a select few can be awarded with this great big something and the basic prerequisites for this great something are having an excellent education, playing you cards right, having a good job of course because without that the world would just crumble and fall away.
And, if ever in life, for even a minute, you get this feeling that what you’re doing isn’t leading you to this great big something then it feels like the whole world is closing in on you, its like you are going to be a big fat failure because you will not have a wonderful job and get a fat paycheck to service your selfish needs and make you a perfect person. Why is everything so hard all the time? Why can’t we just be happy and experience life? It doesn’t seem fair that we have to be running towards something eternally – yes, some things need to be done – studying, working etc. but how can they become the very foreground for your existence, why should they control who you are and how you feel. If you love to sing, just sing... why worry if that’s cutting into your time of making yourself a better asset for the corporate world so some MNC or big conglomerate will hire you and give you a large paycheck for doing a job you secretly hate and wouldn’t be in if it weren’t for the money.
What’s worse is competition. You see somebody who’s made a little more money than you in a shorter period of time, somebody who’s done something a little more exciting and immediately the world comes crashing down, you feel that constriction in your chest, the panic sets in and al of a sudden you feel worthless, because the other person’s success just reminds you of your blinding failure. Ah, the woes of humanity. Pathetic as we are, we are perpetually held in this trap of the world, we don’t just live for ourselves and our loved ones. We live more for our boss, our teachers, the people we hate because they’re better than us, or so we think.
We’re all just caged in this cycle of impressing others and fulfilling this pre-existing mould of what’s right and what’s good. But what’s the point in life? Why waste our lives living it for somebody else. Every moment is gone when we blink it away worrying or just pointlessly working on something we hate.
If only there could be a way to exit this cage and this cycle and be completely free of it. Invictus – ‘I am the captain of my fate, I am the master of my soul.’