Thursday, April 17, 2008

Selfish Blog - 1

Starry Starry Night - Don Mclean. The song evokes memories of road trips with my parents in the early days of my short life - ages 6-10. The sole english CD in my father's possession with the over-worked American Pie as the main attraction, this song was embedded into my mental hard drive without my cognizance. Around age 13 when I started asserting my right to CD time, Don Mclean's music took the backseat and subsequently faded from my life and maroon 5 or nickelback was the new road trip anthem.

However, a few weeks back, I stumbled upon Starry Starry Night int he soundtrack of a movie and the song just hit a nerve in some corner of my life and all of a sudden I found myself tripping on it day-in and day-out.. The song paints such a lush picture of life.. of greatness and of misunderstood artists living in repression :D

But, on a more serious note, the song just took me into a wave of nostalgia that all of us experience and that led me to wonder if I had grown up too fast for my own good. By 7th grade I was watching friends and graduating from Sweet Valleys to Jeffrey Archers

Where did all those happy, carefree days of playing hide-and-seek for hours nonstop and hopskotch and other frivolities disappear... In a flash I looked back all of it was gone. I think it was jsut me trying to be older than I was, I looked older for sure.. and did things older girls did and just tried to be precocious...

A few years down the line, when i was 16 or so.. I realized that I missed that carefree levity and I wanted to feel it again. And somewhere subconsciously I think I started to turn the wheels in that direction and over time I did become more childlike and more innocent in so many ways. I'd just behave like a complete child, and though it was a point of ridicule with many of friends I think it changed me so much for the better. I learnt not to hold on to things as much. For instance everytime I encountered what I felt was a setback I'd brood like the world was over for approximately an hour and then life was alright. It was a simple yet complicated way to deal with life but it seemed to work for me.

Even now it seems that the child-like-ness still persists and I am the better for that... Though it makes me stumble while i learn to drive at 8 in the morning, or lose my temper with my granny when I'm hot and bothered, in the end I wouldn't be me without it and I thank God for that.

3 comments:

Meena and Ganesh said...

everyone has the "child" in them very much there and wanting to come out but we repress it - or atleast some do and some dont !
remember - be grateful for all those birthdays and growing old - you know the sayin - " Birthdays are GOOD for you. Since it has been statistically proven that those who have more birthdays live longer than those who have fewer"

Ankit Ashok said...

I am not sure how qualified I am to comment on this issue , But anyway here it is.

True that the carefree days seem so good and cosy, but thats how your holidays should be and not your regular weekday.

I have tried it myself , and I know it for sure that one misses the work after a couple of carefree days.

And I hate to be a mood spoiler Mr Ganesh , but your statement about birthdays can be LOGICALLY proven without doubt and you dont need statistics to prove it .Its just that I hate the indiscriminate mention of mathematical tools in common language.

Anand said...

Well, in my opinion, being carefree is a state of the mind. It is not a "feeling" per se. The "child" in us lies latent. But, it does peek its head out every once in a while. My grandmom is a diabetic. Each time we allow her to eat something sweet, the expression on her face is to put in simple terms, childish. But yes... being carefree definitely eases a lot of pressure from you!