Tuesday, April 15, 2008

When I asked one of my friends what he would want if he could have any one thing in life, he told me that he wanted to make everybody happy. For reasons beyond my immediate comprehension, I was rather perturbed and frustrated by his response. After much contemplation I finally pinpointed the source of my turmoil. How could somebody possibly control another person's happiness!?

The very idea struck me as absolutely absurd. Hadn't we all heard a million times "The only person who can make you happy is YOU" and other such inspirational messages for people in darker times. Now here was my friend uttering such a noble thought which struck me as so contradictory to what I believed all along. My brain stuck and froze and for a minute I just didn't know what to do or say...

After a few days of quiet pondering I realized, what these people have preached is some idealised society where everybody internally controls what they feel and we can all pretend to be remote controls. Sadly, in a world like ours, where everything is so not-perfect, it is quite understandable that our emotions are dependent on every action that others make. Maybe it is a sad thing but I know that I've let myself be totally influenced by what somebody else says or does and just let myself fall into a total slump for something as silly as an insulting comment a friend passed.. Sheesh..

It seems rather sad and selfless of us to be so dependent on others' actions for our happiness.. I mean, how can we possibly let our feelings, the only thing we actually have control over, be taken over by others. But how we ended up like this is a question that still eludes me. At some point, we were all so independent, so selfish with everything that was ours. ANd back then, it was precious little. But somewhere down the line we lost the individual autonomy and ended up as a society, depending and being depended on in a material and emotional sense. Is that a good thing - maybe yes, maybe no...

So I guess until we become the perfect utopians that we wish and claim to be, we will forever be selfless and giving with our feelings and state of mind. And till then, my noble friend's wish will rank up there with "World Peace" and "A cure for cancer" ... the unattainable yet neccessary.

2 comments:

Meena and Ganesh said...

Interesting.....
Do you really mean selfless or without sense of self worth or without control over self ?
Selfless IMO means opposite of selfish and that is not the context here
I guess , everyone will get affected and be happy or sad atleast momentarily by what others say or do. But the wise one or mature one will immediately realise that this is not correct and will bring back in control the momentary lapse and center their happiness around what is really happening .
Mind is a great powerful tool and we can make it do what we want to do and thereby control happiness - in most cases. If you are in deep pain or are bereaved , clearly one cannot laugh and feel happiness. on the other hand, outside these extreme boundary situations, you are the master of your feelings.

deepa said...

If you define love as giving joy to another person your friends comment translates into making people happy, and being happy himself ..

nice thing to want to do or be ..needs constant practice.. has nothing to do with control